Wednesday, May 31, 2006

So this year has been nothing but ups and downs and all arounds. I have definitely become a grown up at the age of 29 and I gotta be honest with ya...I am not sure I am ready for it.

I am going to go two ways with this blog. One in reference to my way of looking at life and another about growning up.

I have to say that they didn't use a mold when I was made because I definitely do not follow any of your typical lifestyles what-so-ever. I didn't grow up as your typical girl who dreamt of the one day where she would be getting married at a big old wedding, but rather the girl who liked to play in the mud, do sports and basically be a tom boy.

I moved around a lot growing up and I have to tell you that it was good and bad for various reasons. I am definitely a very outgoing person who is able to adapt to things easily and talk to anyone around me, but if you can believe it I am probably one of the most self concious people you could ever meet. I can cover it up well, but for those that no me well, they no otherwise.
Sorry, back on track. The pros of moving...getting to see the country or mainly New England in my case, get to meet a lot of new people and if you are lucky enough you can keep great friends throughout the entire process, since you become exposed to new people and places you get to try new things which can help you find out the things you like and don't like. I am sure there are others, but the old noggin isn't thinking of anymore at the moment. On to the cons of moving...you leave your friends and if you are unlucky don't stay in touch with them, you are forced out of your element to meet do people and try new things, you never really have a place you can call home. For me, when people ask where I grew up my answer is New England. Funny, but true. The point for me is that I saw things in groups growing up. We never stayed in places for long and I believe that is how I began to associate things in groups.

You go to elementary school and you know that when you get to 6th grade you graduate and move on to the next group, high school. Once you go through your 4 years of high school then you graduate and move on to the next group, for most college. This is where I don't know anymore. I finished all my groups and have no new ones to move onto. As I stated I didn't grow up in search of that perfect man to marry, nor was I searching for that dream job. So what next???

These are the things that are certain and true so maybe someone out there can give me a clue. I know that ever since I can remember I have always wanted to travel and when I was old enough I did just that and have not stopped yet. I take every opportunity that I can and plan out a trip to get the most of where I am going. I am quite a bit biased to international travel, but am not necessarily opposed to travel in the US. I must admit that my US travel has been very limited, but the international is not to shabby of list. I also know that I absolutely love to be crafty. Anything from making cards, sewing bags, headbands, some tops and pajama bottoms, as well as making desserts of all sorts. It may be hard to believe that I sit behind a laptop all day with limited human interaction, but it is true. I crave to do something else with my life as I know it short and shouldn't be wasted, not even a second, but I am at a loss for what I should be doing. I am hoping to figure it out soon though.

Until I figure it out I am on the hunt for a place to live. The rents have decided to head south for their retirement which has me a bit nervous. When I chose colleges to apply to I figured living away from home had no impact on me, but how wrong I was. I ended up going to a school only 2 hours away and came home after I graduated. Over those 4 years I became very close to my parents and now with them leaving and not having them within driving distance what am I going to do. When the day finally comes I am going to be devastated. It all is on my shoulders though. As soon as I find a place they are out the door. So how can I be excited about that, yet I can't wait to be proud of having my own place and being on my own again, but this just sucks at the same time.