Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Perusing The Blogs

While perusing the blogs via the Next Blog» button I came across this post and I couldn't help but laugh. Someone was either having a really bad night or had a funny idea.

Dear IT Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I'vetried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, whileHusband 10 is an Operating System.

Try entering the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.

CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally would recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, IT Support

Dear IT Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2005.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted.

They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tendsdelete all of your Money before uninstalling itself'.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Three Interesting Things For Today

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to meet up with people in a city's square and just strip? Well that is what 18,000 people did today in Mexico city.
Spencer Tunick is an American photographer from Middletown, New York that is known around the world as the Nude Photographer. No, he does not stand around naked taking pictures of things. He does just the opposite, he gathers people from around the world (all whom volunteer their bodies) to be photographed.

I pose the 3 questions to you:

1. Are You Comfortable In The Nude?

2. Would you be comfortable posing nude with thousands of other people?

3. Would you be comfortable being photographed in the nude with thousands of other people?

If you answered yes to all of these questions, then here i is your chance ... apply now.

Before you answer that though maybe I should tell you that all of these people are strictly volunteers. They do this on their own free will. That means they do not get paid or even really get anything, but the self gratification of being nude with strangers. I guess that is not fully true. They do receive a signed photograph and the fact that they are part of history.

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I couldn't resist sharing this one with more of the world.

About a year ago I was reading the paper in the waiting room while my car was getting a new set of wheels. I came across an article that just seemed so odd that it couldn't be true, however in this day and age I think anything really is possible (i.e., selling a partial grilled cheese sandwich for thousands that looks like Jesus). I read on to learn that there was a man in Africa that decided to marry a goat! The article didn't give details so until today I had no idea why anyone would or could marry a goat.

Found out about a man and his goat here.
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Lastly, I came across a sad article for Ireland. The pub population is decreasing at a rapid rate. They have attributed it to three things.

1. No smokin' in the Pubs since they banned that back in '04.
2. Tougher drink-driving laws (they way they say it...haha gave me a chuckle). Pubs tend to be in remote areas rather than close to home.
3. Times they are a changing for the younger crowd. They are flocking to the larger towns with smarter bars.

I guess that sucks for me when I finally get myself over there. Those were the places that I wanted to visit. I am dying to walk into an Irish pub, order a Guinness and just sit back and listen to the Irish Guy on stage sing a jig!